How to Decide What to Call Your Same-Sex Commitment Ceremony

Should you call it a marriage, a holy union, a commitment ceremony - or something completely unique and different? Of course, the choice is ultimately up to you, but here's some help deciding what to call your same-sex commitment ceremony.

Instructions

STEP 1: Decide if you and your partner are comfortable with religious terms for your union or if you prefer ones that don't sound so "churchy." While "holy union" was once the most common term for same-sex ceremonies in churches, if you aren't comfortable with churches, you probably won't be comfortable with this term.

STEP 2: Remember that exactly what you call the ceremony may vary depending on the situation. You may tell your friends you're getting married - that would mean the ceremony should be called a marriage - but on careful consideration, you may decide that the baggage of that word is simply too heavy and put a different term on the invitations.

STEP 3: Consider avoiding the use of a certain term to refer to the ceremony in your invitations and in the printed order of service. Tell people they're invited to "the joining of two lives" or that they're invited to be present as you and your partner "publicly profess your love before family and friends."

STEP 4: Be aware that since the law does not recognize same-sex commitments in the United States, some officiants are not allowed to use terms like "marriage" and "wed" in your ceremony - and some will object to using these terms for other reasons.

STEP 5: Get creative - no one ever said you have to use the same term everyone else uses. Think about creating just the right phrase to describe your event - perhaps using words like "celebration," "union," "covenant," "pledge" or "ceremony."

STEP 6: Use the word or phrase that comes most naturally. When your friends say, "What are you doing on the 13th?" if you say, for example, "My holy union is that day," then you know you've found your term.

Tips & Warnings

--Try not to get too hung up on what the ceremony is called. The important thing is that you're having one. While the details are important, it's not worth upsetting yourself or your partner just to find the perfect term to describe the happy event.
--Some of the most commonly used terms are "holy union," "commitment ceremony," "covenant ceremony" and "ceremony of blessing."

 

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