How to Decide Who to Invite to Your Wedding

You agreed to have no more than 125 guests at your wedding. But you've just realized that between the two of you, you have 300 people you want to invite. Now what?

Instructions

STEP 1: Sit down with your intended and list everyone you can think of to invite.

STEP 2: Use the one-year rule for friends: If you haven't had a meaningful conversation with this person within the last year, don't invite him or her.

STEP 3: Ask your parents on both sides to help you cull people from the list.

STEP 4: Avoid the "If I invite this cousin, I must invite all cousins" trap. And don't feel obligated to invite people who invited you to their wedding. Relationships change.

STEP 5: Exclude children if possible. Suddenly a family of six is a manageable party of two.

STEP 6: Address the invitations only to those you intend to invite. If your single friend rates an invitation and isn't seeing anyone seriously, you don't have to include "and guest."

STEP 7: Keep the list limited to personal friends. Do you hang out with co-workers away from the office? If not, don't invite them.

STEP 8: Make sure that the same number of people are invited from each side. This will prevent in-laws from feeling cheated.

STEP 9: Keep in mind that on average, about 25 percent of your guests won't be able to make it.

STEP 10: Make a first and second list. Put the absolutely-must-invites on the first list, and as the RSVPs come in, send an invitation from the second list for each regret.

Tips & Warnings

Remember that these are people you're sharing your special day with. Outside of very immediate family members, you aren't required to include anyone on your invitation list.
As a thoughtful gesture, set aside a group of 6 to 10 invitations for the parents to send to whoever they like that didn't make it onto the regular guest list.
People will bring their kids unless you spell it out for them. Try "Adults-only reception at 7:00" on your invitations.

 

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