I DO RENEW

You’ve been married almost ten years. Why not celebrate the milestone by renewing the vows you made on your wedding day? There’s no reason to wait any longer, seize the day and plan an unforgettable celebration that will set the tone for your next ten years.

I’d like to share the details of a ten year vow renewal I recently participated in. It was an evening affair to rival any wedding and it was held in our friends’ own backyard. They wanted to bring Tuscany to their home and indeed they did. The story begins…

Alon and Esti wanted to go to the Amalfi Coast in Italy for their ten year anniversary. It was where they honeymooned, and they hoped to renew their vows to each other in that special place. Alas, it was not be, as baby number three blessed them and their family. “Let’s bring Tuscany to you,” I volunteered. “I’ll help you plan it.” Esti immediately liked the idea and the two of us began to plan an anniversary party that would be romantic, classy, full of music and cheer, and that would include a ceremony to renew their vows.

To start, invitations were selected and printed. Invitations are a party’s first impression and set the tone for everything that follows. Esti wanted to convey the event would be a semi-formal affair. There is nothing casual about ten years. She selected a black and white floral card stock that would be beneath printed velum and tied together by a black satin bow. Finding the right words to put on an invitation is often a difficult task. I did it for them, keeping it simple. It read…It’s a love story that’s been growing for ten years. Now the happy day when two lives flowed into one shall be remembered and renewed… The rest gave details as to time, place, etc. The invitations were mailed four weeks in advance with an RSVP date ten days before the event.

I should quickly interject here that Esti and I decided to do all of the party planning. There are party coordinators and consultants available for any occasion, but we felt between the two of us, our own creativity would be sufficient. A good piece of advice is to make a list of what you need for your party. Include a budget for each item and decide what is most important to you. Is it the food? The decorations? You decide. This means that no matter what your budget is, you can do the same as we did, or hire someone else. You will read as I go on that there are things we did not do. Study your list and decide what you want to do yourself. Use your talents where you can and hire other talent where needed.

With the invites on their way to friends and family, we knew the next thing to do was find a caterer (not our talent.) Of course it was to be Italian fare. We visited several restaurants and made some phone calls to local caterers. A man by the name of Pierre who frequently called us darling won our vote. He spoke fast and furiously but was attentive and did what he said he would do. Esti received his menu suggestions quickly and was relieved to know he and his staff would set up the whole party. The food, I had heard, was delicious, and I told Esti she would not be sorry. Word to the wise, however, make sure you get a cost breakdown for everything. As the event got closer, Pierre kept throwing in small expenses such as ice and set-up fees that were not articulated early on and those can add up quickly.

Next we visited a local bakery with hopes of finding a cake. We looked through several books with pictures of wedding cakes. We found one that looked good to Esti. It was to be two-tiered with minimal icing decoration around the sides. Wonderful. To our delight, we got to taste several different kinds of cake while we looked through the books. We compared fillings and icings and decided the chocolate cake was tastier than the white. The champagne filling immediately aroused our taste buds so that was an easy decision. Chocolate cake with a champagne filling and whip cream icing (I’m partial to butter cream but it’s not my party,) was the selection. Cross another item off our list. Our next outing was to a local party rental company. Esti had torn a picture out of a magazine that showed a small table and chairs with beautiful linen and candles and flowers. It was exactly the look she wanted. This is another good piece of advice. Look through magazines and books to get decorating and food ideas. Tear out or photocopy your favorites, put them in a folder, and you’ll have lots of choices at your fingertips. Another quick note: We decided that in order to convey the feel of Tuscany, we should stick to warm, dark colors. We would have lots and lots of candles. The mood would be European. The drinks would be flowing, the flowers rich in color and texture, the tables romantic. So here we stood, picture in hand, hoping to replicate the look. We selected tables, chairs, plates, glasses, silverware and linens. It would be gorgeous. I’ll fill you in on the details later.

The caterer is taken care of. The cake is taken care of. The rentals are taken care of. The RSVP’s are coming in. How about some music?

Esti had heard about a gentleman who played the guitar. She phoned him and he was available on the evening in question. Not only was he a musician he told her, but a deejay as well. Perfect, she thought. He could play during the hors d’oeuvres, ceremony and dinner. And after that, he would become a deejay so that guests could dance. The gentleman, whose name escapes me, turned out to be a gem. He did not stop playing for a moment. The volume was just right and he was just out of the way so that all you heard was beautiful music throughout the evening. When dinner was over there was not a spot to be had on the dance floor (the living room furniture was removed to allow for dancing.) Alon and Esti told him music they would like to hear and he came through with their wishes.

Last, but not least, we needed to consider flowers. I told Esti I would do all the arrangements for her and she was grateful for the offer. She purchased beautiful dark bronze tin urns with handles on each side for table centerpieces. Two four-foot pillars were bought for the ceremony site. Atop the pillars would be two large urns filled with flowers. I told Esti that the day before the ceremony we would go to the flower mart to purchase flowers. Most large cities have a flower mart. Picture a swap meet where every vendor is selling flowers. The great thing about flower marts is the huge selection, good prices and unusual finds. If there isn’t a flower mart near you, farmer’s markets are a good place to buy flowers. Esti had never been to the mart before so she was in for a treat.

I haven’t forgotten the most important reason for this celebration. Now that you hopefully have an idea of the elements involved in this special event, I’d like to share with you the details of the ceremony. “Who should marry us again?” Esti asked. I didn’t have a good answer for her. We could look in the phone book, or ask around, I guess. Then an idea struck me. How about if Greg (my husband) gets ordained on the internet and does it for you? Esti suggested it to Alon and they liked the idea so it was a done deal. What did Greg have to do to get ordained you ask? Well, nothing. He just went to a website and free of charge became a reverend with the Universal Life Church. He received a certificate and was now deemed worthy of officiating at marriages or other religious occasions. Some states have rules and guidelines for marriages and such, but since Alon and Esti were already married, Greg just had to plan his speech. He asked that Alon and Esti be prepared to say something to one another. Also included would be their two oldest children (ages 5 and 8).

With nothing left to do but find a dress for Esti to wear, we relaxed and looked forward to the big day.

The morning before the party, Esti and I ventured out at the crack of dawn to the flower mart. We timed it right as we hit little freeway traffic and made the journey in about an hour. We entered the building and were quickly overcome by a sea of color. Not only visually pleasing, the scent of flowers filled the air and we couldn’t help but smile as the main event was upon us. We brought along buckets to put the flowers in, rented a large flat cart to carry them and began buying. Going with the color theme of dark, rich hues, we selected red roses, purple hydrangea, antique blue hydrangea and dark purple dahlias. We discovered plum colored artichoke (yes artichoke on a stem, completely closed like a flower before it blooms,) that would be perfect in the center of the flower arrangements. We also included unique flowers in shades of purple, greenery that would wilt gracefully and more roses in dark pink, wine and violet. The job done, we headed home and I got to work.

I began by soaking florist green foam in water and floral preserve (the small packets you get with most bouquets.) After about twenty minutes I removed the foam and cut it to fit into each urn (there were seven total, two for the pillars, and five for the tables.) Then I simply cut and placed the flowers in the foam, filling them to capacity. The artichokes were beautiful centers and I worked my way outward with roses, dahlias and the hydrangea. Ivy retrieved from Esti’s garden circled the arrangement at the rim of the urn. The pillar urns were slightly different because the flowers needed to stand taller. I kept the stems longer and created an arrangement with much more height. The final product was breathtaking and I began to feel transported back to a little Italian village.

Anniversary Day. Finally. With a group effort the day would be unforgettable. I picked up the cake from the bakery and brought it over to Alon and Esti’s house. The caterer arrived to set up the table and chairs, ice the drinks, set up the bar and buffet table and lend support where needed. The buffet table was glorious with three and four-foot tall decorative wine bottles grouped together amongst beautiful tableware and dark linens. The table used was L-shaped and in the corner of the dining room so it felt warm and cozy. A small table for the cake sat across for guest viewing.

A platform was made from plywood and blocks that was large enough to hold the wedding party. It was covered with wine-colored satin that we staple-gunned down to hold in place. The pillars were placed one at each side and the floral arrangements put on top. The contrast of the white pillars and huge dark flower arrangements was stunning.

The tables (there were five with seating for ten at each) were truly eye catching. Intimately placed on the grass in their garden, surrounded by candles hanging from stakes around the perimeter, the rich feeling Esti hoped to capture was on display. Each table was adorned with a gold satin tablecloth that went to the floor. Atop that was a persimmon crushed organza cloth that lay half-way down the table. A floral arrangement was placed at the center of each table. Small candles in glass candle holders circled the centerpiece. The tableware was set with the napkins fanning out of the wine glass. Black cushioned chairs surrounded the table.

The guitarist arrived and took his position. Servers began walking around with hors d’ oeuvres as guests arrived. The bar was open and drinks were poured. The cake was placed on its table and decorated with fresh roses.

When all had arrived the ceremony began. Guests gathered and stood to watch Alon and Esti renew their vows. Their children joined them and Greg began his sermon. Always knowing just what to say, he spoke lovingly of a couple that has reached a milestone many do not. The speech was warm and personal with the right blend of sincerity and light hearted tales. Everyone laughed, quieted, cheered and applauded. A tear was not shed, but it was close. When the bride and groom spoke to one another it was comfortable and forthright. Ten years of marriage make the heart grow fonder, grow more tolerant, grow more at ease with each other. Surrounded by family and friends Greg once again pronounced them husband and wife.

With the formalities done, the feasting began. As the sun set, guests sat down to a delicious meal and several champagne toasts. The candle-lit atmosphere, soft background music and friendly conversation right in their own backyard was everything Alon and Esti had hoped it would be. They were transplanted to another part of the world without leaving their nest.

The affair continued with the cutting of the cake. They fed each other a bite and wrapped their arms around each other. The guitar player moved into the dance area and set himself up as deejay.

Guests started dancing as soon as the music began. First on the floor was the renewed bride and groom, along with their kids. Moments later it was difficult to get a spot without getting to know the person next to you. Shoes were flung, inhibitions abandoned and we all danced the night away.

There is a moral to this story. Don’t wait. Celebrate today the love you have for each other. Ten years is the perfect opportunity to say “I do” again. Whether your budget is big or small, you can create a magical setting anywhere you are.

 

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