Flexibility Is Key to Dividing Wedding Costs

It often surprises newly engaged couples how formidable a social event their wedding will become. Wedding costs can be shocking. There are so many details to consider, including the planning and organization, and, most importantly, who will pay for what.

For many, it’s the first time they’ve ever been intricately involved in a project this large. Even the smallest, most quickly designed wedding requires planning and expenditure. After all, you intend for it to be a once-in-a-lifetime event: One of your first decisions needs to be about wedding costs.

How you parcel out this financial load often is based not just on available resources and affordability, but on tradition. In times past, a bride’s parents paid for the lion’s share of the wedding. Today, however, the bridal couple, often with help from the groom’s parents, can share the cost. It’s also common for bridal couples to shoulder the entire burden of their celebrations.

When a groom’s parents contribute to the wedding costs, they become co-hosts. This means your wedding invitations should carry their names, too. If the couple pays their own way, “ownership” of the event is theirs and the inclusion of parents on invitations becomes a courtesy or sign of affection and respect.

What’s important is communication. You and your fiance should look realistically at your resources and set a workable budget. Ask yourselves what your priorities are. Discuss which aspects of this multi-faceted event carry the most meaning for you. And which ones you can do without, if it’s financially necessary.

Once you’ve set a realistic budget, decide who should be responsible for what. This early communication sets the stage for everything else and, hopefully, avoids pain and misunderstanding. Issues relating to wedding costs have ended more engagements than any other thing, so the better you communicate, the more likely you are to have the wedding of your dreams.

Although flexibility is key, knowing how wedding costs traditionally are divided can serve as a template for your own decisions.

Traditional Wedding Costs for the Bride:

Her groom’s wedding ring.
A gift for her groom.
Lodging for out-of-town attendants.
Traditional Wedding Costs for the Groom:

His bride’s engagement and wedding rings.
A gift for his bride.
The marriage license.
Gifts and lodging for his groomsmen.
Fee for the officiant.
Any required blood tests.
His bride’s bouquet, corsages for both mothers and boutonnieres for his groomsmen.
Formal wear for himself, and accessories like gloves, bowties and ascots for his groomsmen.
Transportation to the ceremony site.
The honeymoon.
Traditional Wedding Costs for the Bride’s Family:

The bride’s dress and all accessories.
The bride’s trousseau.
The wedding announcements, invitations and postage.
A wedding gift for the couple.
Photography and videography.
Transportation for the bridal party to the ceremony and from there to the reception.
The ceremony location, including flowers, decorations and fees to musicians.
Bridesmaid bouquets.
Reception expenses including the wedding and groom’s cakes, any necessary rentals, decorations, entertainment and flowers.
Bridesmaids’ luncheon.
Traditional Wedding Costs for the Groom’s Family:

The rehearsal dinner, and beverages at the reception.
A gift for the couple.
Their travel costs.
Their attire.
Traditional Wedding Costs for your Attendants:

Their wedding attire.
Travel costs.
A gift for the couple.
The shower, and bachelor and bachelorette parties.
Your wedding costs should not be something that is discussed only once the bills arrive. Make sure you prepare a realistic wedding budget, considering those who will be contributing to your wedding financially, and stick to it. This will help avoid possible problems.

 

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