My Experience as a ”Mother of the Bride”

Tags: wedding planning, mother of the bride, more>>mother of the bridewedding planning

When my daughter, Kristin, announced her engagement late February 2006, I knew the day had arrived for wedding planning to begin. As the mother of the bride, I knew that I was going to be a hands-on MOB (mother of the bride), instead of a silent one. I picked up a couple books on mother of the bride duties and responsibilities and helpful hints. After conversing with Kristin, I knew where to start!

As far as I had heard, you needed at least 1 year to reserve the church and venue for the reception and be confident that you would get the date you wanted. After deciding on the approximate number of people that would be invited and the type of function, formal or informal, I set out to find some reception locations that we could visit and interview.

My first source was the internet. Kristin had always wanted her reception at a Country Club in Orlando, FL, where we live. She loved the lush green lawns of the golf courses and the verandas that typically looked out over the landscape. I looked up Golf Course Country Clubs in the central Florida area but wanted to stay within a close proximity to our home. After finding several listed that seemed to fit the bill, I mapped out a plan of action. I made appointments for 2 – 3 visits each time we went out. We interviewed the Catering Directors of the establishments, asking questions that seemed important; is the date available, how long is the typical reception, what type of amenities were included, and the meal packages that were offered. After visiting several different Country Clubs and narrowing our search, we decided on Timacuan Country Club in Central Florida. The Catering Director, Karen, was knowledgeable, helpful and full of ideas and suggestions. She made all of us feel very confident in her ability to work with us and make sure the wedding reception was everything Kristin and Brian had wanted. We were sold. Now all that was needed was to reserve the date at our Church. With that done, the wedding preparations were well underway.

Now that the date was secure, it was time to find Bridal Shows to attend. I thought going to shows would be helpful since so many vendors would be present and we could get a lot of information all in one place. While visiting the Country Clubs, Kristin also received a copy of Perfect Wedding Guide which was full of information we needed to help with the wedding preparations. I checked through the Guide and found their website and logged on, and found a listing of Bridal Shows that would soon be in different locations in our area. I jotted down a few of the upcoming shows and planned with Kristin to attend at least one small show in our mall and another larger show in one of the downtown Orlando hotels. The first show was at Dillard’s in our mall. As we talked to the vendors and gathered brochures, we learned more about planning a wedding. We thumbed through books on invitations and talked to florists and DJs. It was pretty clear we had a lot of decisions to make. Since we were relatively new to Florida, I started talking to my friends and neighbors to get some advice about weddings they had either attended or planned. I also went to the bookstore and bought a few books on planning a wedding.

Kristin was eager to look at wedding gowns and while at the Dillard’s Bridal Show, we spoke with the owner of Sassy’s Bridal Shop. She had a few gowns on display, but spoke about her shop and the large selection she had there. She told us that once a Bride decided on a gown, the gown would have to be ordered and that would take about 6 months. Shirley told us to come on Monday. Even though she was normally closed on Mondays, she opened her shop just for us. Then locked the door behind us so we had her undivided attention. Shirley knew just how to keep the mother of the bride included in the gown selection process, constantly asking for my opinion and suggestions. After trying on about 100 gowns, Kristin fell in love with, and bought, her wedding gown. We placed the order and Shirley promised that 6 months later it would arrive at the shop. So far everything was going smoothly.

The next step was to contact the DJ. I found several on the internet and made some calls to get information. One DJ that Kristin was leaning toward was recommended by Karen at Timacuan. Karen had given us several recommendations, but was partial to Penny. She explained to Kristin and her fiance, Brian that Penny was very professional, very organized and always seemed to get the party going. That was exactly what they were looking for in a DJ, so I gave Penny a call to set up an appointment for Kristin to speak with her. That was all it took – after they spoke, Kristin was sure that Penny was the DJ she wanted at her wedding. Penny listened, gave suggestions and made Kristin feel secure that the music would be exactly what they wanted.

I had gotten some recommendations from friends for photographers that had been used for weddings. I have to say, put the word wedding in front of photographer and you come up with a pretty pricey vendor. I made several phone calls and got some prices for packages that were offered and was stunned at how little you got for the price that was expected. Some photographers would only work for 5 hours (of course you could pay extra for extra time) and some would charge a somewhat reasonable fee, but that fee did not include any pictures. I was amazed. Then a friend recommended a photographer who worked as a sports photographer, but also did weddings. I called him and set up an appointment. After looking at his work, talking over the packages that he had to offer, and hearing some of his ideas for pictures, Kristin decided he would do nicely and the price was within our budget.

Next, Kristin and I started to hunt for a florist. I always thought you go to a flower shop, talk to the professional and look at some books. I was surprised to find you need an appointment to speak with a floral consultant. So I looked on line, again, for florists in our area and started making appointments. It’s amazing just how little some of these consultants listen to what the bride wants. We met with several consultants and they would tell us about weddings they had done and ask questions about Kristin’s wedding and color choices. There was one consultant who actually told Kristin to change her colors because green would be much better than blue when doing flowers. We were stunned and left knowing that he would not be hired. The process was slow, since each consultant we spoke with took hours talking and making suggestion. It was very confusing. One evening, Kristin happened to be talking to the Church coordinator and mentioned that she had been looking for a florist. She recommended Sanford Florist. She had worked with them on many occasions and the flowers were always beautiful. Kristin told me about the recommendation, so I called to make an appointment. Kristin and I met with Donna at the flower shop. She was great. She had books for us to look through and when she made suggestions, she would get the flowers from the refrigerator and show us what she was suggesting. This was the first time anyone had done that. She listened to Kristin’s likes and dislikes and was more than happy to work within our budget. After our meeting, we knew Sanford Flower Shop was going to do a lovely job with the flowers for the church and reception.

Now that the reception hall, church, photographer, DJ and florist were taken care of, it was time to start looking for invitations and limo services. I have a neighbor who has connections in both these areas, so I decided to check out his web site and call his limo contact. First, I called Robert and he gave me all the pertinent information about his website. I logged on and immediately started looking through, what seemed to be like, hundred of different invitations. I found several I liked, so I felt it was safe to send this site to Kristin and Brian to start looking at all the different possibilities. After a few days, and many hours of searching, they came up with several possibilities. Robert had told me to let him know which invitations were selected and he would order samples for the bride and groom. After doing this, we received the samples and promptly narrowed the search to a select few. As it turned out, Kristin kept looking at the site and decided on a few more choices. Robert ordered those samples for us and ultimately, Kristin and Brian decided on the “perfect” invitation. They selected the font, wording, color and quantity and we placed the order. One recommendation Robert gave was to order at least 25 more invitations than we thought we needed. This turned out to be the best advice we received. Their wedding list grew as the time got closer and they didn’t have an invitation to spare. Meanwhile, I got in touch with the limo company Robert suggested and was fortunate to be able to see one of their limos. It was clean, well taken care of and the driver was dressed in a suit for the wedding he was working that day. They seemed quite professional and, of course, I had a glowing recommendation, so I booked their services.

About 4 months before the wedding, Kristin and I decided it was time to taste test the many bakers that could provide the wedding cake. We looked at several of the well known wedding bakers that we had gotten cards from at the Bridal Shows we had attended. The samplings were wonderful, but the prices on some of the cakes were outrageous so we decided we needed to keep looking. Kristin happened to stumble on a small, out of the way, bakery in our neighborhood. Since she was working, I went to do some scouting of the facility. I spoke with the owner and arranged a tasting for Kristin and Brian. The cake was wonderful and her ideas were in line with what the happy couple wanted. She promised to make a drawing of the design that was discussed. Even though she did not require a deposit, I felt it was appropriate so I put down a deposit and we had our Baker.

Unfortunately, a few weeks went by and Kristin still hadn’t heard from her or gotten the promised design sketch. I called and she apologized and said she’d have it within the week. Another 10 days went by and still no sketch. By this time Kristin was feeling very uneasy about using this particular Baker. I stopped by her shop, discussed the situation and she then informed me that she had sold the business. I was surprised to say the least. She told me she would still do the cake but from her sister’s house. I was uncomfortable with that and asked for the return of my deposit. I was very fortunate that she was very reputable and returned my deposit immediately. We now faced the fact that it was less than 3 months until the wedding and we had no baker. I heard of a baker in Sanford and had sampled some of his Italian pastries at one of our neighbor’s home, so I made an appointment to have a consultation. After meeting with him, discussing different designs and sampling his cakes, fillings and icings, Kristin and Brian gave a deposit for his services. All in all, it was the best decision made. Bruno’s cake was a big hit!

During the final months before the wedding, I looked through magazines and wedding guides and studied pictures of receptions and the way the tables were decorated. We were trying to stay within a budget so I wanted to spruce up the tables without it costing too much money. I was confident that the flower arrangements would look beautiful, but Kristin and I had seen some pictures of tables set with mirrored tiles, votive candles and tall vases that were really eye catching. I had asked the florist about the cost for this type of centerpiece and she told me the vases she could get were very expensive and would almost double the cost of my flowers. She did, however, tell me if I provided the vases she wouldn’t charge me any more for the arrangements. I went onto my computer and started searching for these types of vases. I found a site for “Eiffel Tower Vases”. These were exactly what I had been looking for so I bought a case, since they were cheaper by the dozen. I then went to Home Depot where I purchased the mirrored tiles at a very reasonable price. Finally, I found the votive candles at Old Time Pottery, sold by the case and on sale. I bought 10 boxes, 120 candles, to decorate the reception hall. The centerpieces would cost me a bit more than I originally thought, but they would be exactly as Kristin had envisioned.

As the wedding day got closer, I was in touch with Karen at Timacuan more often and we discussed the wedding and how everything was coming along. She was very helpful and guided me whenever I needed any information or tips on what to do next, or where to look for vendors or things for the reception. She asked me about chair covers and if I had decided on the linens for the tables. I had told her the colors Kristin had picked and said that she really wanted to keep the linens simple. She recommended white table linens with white chair covers and blue sashes. I spoke with my daughter and she seemed to like that idea. Karen had asked for fabric from the bridesmaids dresses so she could contact her linen vendor and match the sashes as close as possible. We got her the material and she did the rest.

With the help of Karen from Timacuan, Fran from Nativity Catholic Church, and Donna from Sanford Florist, Kristin and Brian’s wedding went perfectly. The church was decorated beautifully, with bows on the pews and flowers on the alter and unity candle. Fran helped pin boutonnières on the men and made sure everything at the Church ran smoothly and on time. At Timacuan, Karen was busy making sure all our decorations were just as we wanted them. She placed the mirrored tiles and candles on the tables and made sure all the vendors arrived and set up as promised.

With their help, and a very ambitious and hands-on mother of the bride, Kristin and Brian had the wedding of their dreams.

 

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